I wasn’t sure what my curtains are trying to tell me, but then I clued in…..

40 Days till surgery. 😂😂😂😜

Stuff people say when hearing about someone coming out…

 

Whether they believe the things they say themselves is questionable, but I think the majority of time people tend to jump to conclusions because they’re really struggling with the thought and look for things to blame. 

A year wrap up, learning stuff, a documentary series

Gosh I can’t believe 2017 is over. It has come and gone and turned out to be a whirlwind, but totally amazing year really. It’s practically been 2 years since starting the visible part of my journey and along with it, it has brought many challenges and truly amazing experiences.

Work has been VERY stressful in the past 8 months because of product development, and naturally it ended up costing significantly more than we budgeted for both time wise and financially and towards the end of the summer, it was really eating me up, so I decided that the time has come to make time for myself.

My thoughts on early transitioning.

Marissa’s guide to male to female gender transitioning.

So I’ve been thinking about coming up with this “list” with items I think are most important in gender transitioning.

Sure we might all do it differently and take different approaches to achieve same goal but ultimately, we all want to succeed at “passing” and blending into society.

Why is passing important? This is a question that repeatedly seems to come up and it’s somewhat complex. My SO used to get fairly upset with me while voicing my goal of passing and she would repeatedly ask why passing is so important, since there are CIS women in a variety of different formats and body shapes and society puts too much emphasis on our looks. This is very true, but we don’t necessarily want to look very pretty, we’re just trying to avoid unnecessary attention. Unnecessary attention to me in this case means people looking it at you on the street or poking fun at you, or misgendering you in public, which can be a very hurtful experience. I’m basing the following strictly on my experience and is not meant to be used as a guide, merely a list of suggestions.

Things are better and different.

So I’m on my own, but that’s another entry I don’t feel like writing right now, but my father has mysteriously completely turned around and became an avid supporter in a rather short amount of time. He has gone from calling me Ill and and In a country where instead of treating it, they encourage it. That was February. A month later, he apparently would never deny me my happiness……. 

I am not entirely convinced where the change came from, but a conversation with my brother and and nephew took place which turned him around. I think he needed time to absorb the change and he slowly made peace with it, since it’s not going anywhere. These changes are here to say. 

An interesting read about genders within native communities before Europeans changed it all??

Before European Christians Forced Gender Roles, Native Americans Acknowledged 5 Genders

Native American NewsMarch 14, 2017

It wasn’t until Europeans took over North America that natives adopted the ideas of gender roles. For Native Americans, there was no set of rules that men and women had to abide by in order to be considered a “normal” member of their tribe.

14 months already? My brother has completely turned around and I’ve gone blonde, then red, yes surgery is coming and I can hardly wait. Running keeps getting better. Oh yes, I’m going to be single and accidents happen…

Already? It’s been forever since I’ve added to my blog. It’s not because nothing important has happened, quite the contrary, but rather because my focus has been elsewhere and most of the things happening in my life aren’t really trans related.

I can’t believe that it’s been over a year since I started popping the little blue pills. I honestly never thought that I would full time by now. I really wasn’t convinced that I will be able to pull off being Marissa 24/7 without significant surgical intervention. Luckily, I was wrong. I’m honestly not sure that much has changed since the 8-10 month mark, but I do know for sure that my boobs are growing pretty nicely, yes the left one is still growing a bit faster than the right but they are taking shape. People tell me I look different since the summer, but I am having a hard time noticing the difference. Although, I should point out that I never actually saw changes in my face, but that’s because I see myself in the mirror all the time.

10 month MTF HRT update

Do you wear women’s clothing now and are those real?? X-mas family get together should be interesting and got an amazing article about it. 

8 months of HRT,I need to go full time, but…..Family frustrations, Hair and makeup, pronouns, why do you look like a woman now?????

The concept of going full time is becoming ever more pressing. Switching between my 2 personalities is just really hard and I’m not very keen on keeping my old self around for much longer. I find him boring, annoying, and somewhat depressing. I need to be me. My fears of not passing have been easing a lot lately because I’m fortunate enough that seem to pass when trying all the time which is really helpful. I admire people who don’t care about what others think, but passing for me is a big deal, even though it makes me feel like a coward sometimes.

Out to the world, you cannot hide who you are.

So I am now officially out to the world.

I came out on Facebook using he following letter;

Dear Friends,
For months, if not years, I’ve been contemplating how best to address a major change in my life.

Some of you know, most of you don’t and no doubt it will be a surprise or even a shock to a few. I am transgender and have been in the process of transitioning to female for almost a year now, which is the reason I haven’t exactly been posting pictures of myself here. Although I don’t want to impose the particulars on you, if you have any questions, I’d be more than happy to answer them. I would however like to point out that I’m still the same person and nothing has changed since you first met me, except I got tired of fighting it. This has been with me all my life and finally after many years of struggle, I decided to embrace it and fix it. This change will not affect my ability to do my job or make me a different person really, other than on the outside. In fact, I may be less distracted when I no longer have two personas to juggle and I can be just myself without having to act or pretend to be something I’m not. Also, as I enjoy being myself more, you may find me more enjoyable to be around.Some of you may not understand the life changes I’m undertaking and some of you may not approve of what I’m doing and that’s fine. I did not come here to ask for permission, I’m only here sharing this because I think it’s only fair.